It is what our brains are designed to do.
We take in zillions of messages. We sort them out and average them. The process eliminates some of the noise, exposing the hidden consistencies.
When someone does this well for many years, we call it wisdom.
For all the noise around the topic of sex, one message is very consistent; "restraint."
Restrain your impulses. Don't touch. Don't look. Don't talk about it much. Don't let anyone see any body parts even remotely associated with sex.
Even after you grow up and get a partner, the restraint theme continues. Not this time of the month; not in public; not now; not with anyone else; not so fast. It all reinforces the powerful and growing message,,, "Restrain yourself."
Some people respond to this repression by rebelling and purposely breaking as many of these rules as possible. Some just meekly follow the rules.
It's fascinating how the brain intertwines things associated with pleasure. Sex is such a powerful part of our brain that anything we even associate with sex can trigger pleasure. If red shoes are associated with pleasure, pretty soon red shoes themselves will cause the pleasure. The same is true with restraint, cars, even pain.
Some people, operating in the language of dreamspeak, internalize the message "restrain yourself." They begin to associate restraint with sexual pleasure. That blossoms into fantasies and eventually becomes its own source of pleasure.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Time and feelings
I have had very little interest in being tied up for about a month. Now the feelings are slowly building up again. It is a little like the waxing and waning of the moon, only on a different time scale.
I find myself falling asleep on a couch with my arms stretched out over my head. It somehow feels good. If the cycle happens like normal, stretched out body positions will get more and more pleasurable over a period of weeks or months. Fantasies will get stronger.
Near the peak, I may sometimes feel the need to be tied down so I won't float away. I may have an overwhelming need to be tied naked and totally helpless, totally at the mercy of another person. At that point it becomes a spiritual experience, a cosmic trip, a teachable moment. It may involve spiritual guidance.
I can ignore those feelings, and I often have, But now I find it much more fascinating to go with the flow. These feelings are part of who I am. They seem to be harmless and quite likely they are trying to teach me something.
I find myself falling asleep on a couch with my arms stretched out over my head. It somehow feels good. If the cycle happens like normal, stretched out body positions will get more and more pleasurable over a period of weeks or months. Fantasies will get stronger.
Near the peak, I may sometimes feel the need to be tied down so I won't float away. I may have an overwhelming need to be tied naked and totally helpless, totally at the mercy of another person. At that point it becomes a spiritual experience, a cosmic trip, a teachable moment. It may involve spiritual guidance.
I can ignore those feelings, and I often have, But now I find it much more fascinating to go with the flow. These feelings are part of who I am. They seem to be harmless and quite likely they are trying to teach me something.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Trust and control
Someone sent around an email asking the question...
"What are the greatest lessons in life you have ever learned?
One of the replies was good enough that I wish I had said it...
I think the biggest lesson I have learned is "Trust." In events. In other people. In myself. Trust requires me to open up and let go of my need to control things. The times when I have been most willing to go with the flow and trust have always led to the most interesting, exciting, important changes in my life. Of course, being open to outside control has its risks, but that's what makes it a life lesson. If it was easy, it wouldn't take so long to learn.
An important part of the need to be tied up is about trust. You have to give up control. Either actually or potentially put your trust in some one else. You have to go with the flow; and it certainly could get interesting.
Some of us feel the pull to turn control over to a trustworthy person to play out the next scene in a way that we can't, or won't.
We learn. We grow. It is exciting.
"What are the greatest lessons in life you have ever learned?
One of the replies was good enough that I wish I had said it...
I think the biggest lesson I have learned is "Trust." In events. In other people. In myself. Trust requires me to open up and let go of my need to control things. The times when I have been most willing to go with the flow and trust have always led to the most interesting, exciting, important changes in my life. Of course, being open to outside control has its risks, but that's what makes it a life lesson. If it was easy, it wouldn't take so long to learn.
An important part of the need to be tied up is about trust. You have to give up control. Either actually or potentially put your trust in some one else. You have to go with the flow; and it certainly could get interesting.
Some of us feel the pull to turn control over to a trustworthy person to play out the next scene in a way that we can't, or won't.
We learn. We grow. It is exciting.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Non bondage
Let us live gladly! Quite certainly we are free to do it. Perhaps it is our only freedom, but ours it is, and it is only phenomenally a freedom. 'Living free' is being 'as one is'. Can we not do it now? Indeed can we not-do-it?
It is not even a 'doing': it is beyond doing and not-doing. It is being as-we-are.
This is the only 'practice'.
'All Else is Bondage; Non-Volitional Living' - Wei Wu Wei
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Ice Timer
Here is a little technique that I learned on the internet and then refined.
Many people tie themselves up. It is easier than finding a willing helper that you can trust. However, when you tie yourself up, you have to make it escapable. It puts you in a different mental state than when you know there is nothing you can do to escape. You are always deciding whether you should let yourself out yet; always looking for the way out; always ready to react in a sudden panic if someone might walk in.
If you know there is no way to escape yet, you relax, feel it, adapt to your new limits. You must accept whatever happens if someone were to catch you. There is nothing you can do so you unwind and flow with it.
That inescapable go-with-the-flow position can be achieved two ways; 1) have a partner who is in charge; 2) Have a timer that will not let you out for a while.
I never trusted mechanical or electrical timers. Too much can go wrong. If you place a piece of ice in a position that it won't let you out until the ice melts, you have a relatively sure outcome, and you are never quite sure how long the time will be.
I started by having the ice hold a key to a padlock. I even had it suspended from the ceiling above me so that as the ice melted it dripped onto my bare skin. It kept reminding me that it was ticking, and provided some tactile stimulation.
Later I skipped the padlock. Using a soft flat nylon rope, I tied a simple 6 inch long loop fastened to the bed ( or any solid object). On a longer piece of rope I created a lasso on one end and tightened it over the 6 inch loop. This left a bit of the 6 inch loop still hanging out. Slide an ice cube into that loop and pull tight on the long rope. The result is the ice cube prevents the long rope from sliding off of the short loop. You can pull on that rope with all the force the rope will handle. The ice is stronger.
Use your skills to tie yourself so that you can't get loose until the ice end of the rope comes free. It might be anywhere from 1 to 4 hours.
Another simple variation is working with the bed. If I put the middle of a flat rope between the box spring and the steel frame, it leaves a little loop sticking under the frame. With some force I can pull that rope out of there, unless there is an ice cube stuck in that loop. This ice cube is pushed tight to the steel frame so it melts faster. It lets loose in about an hour.
In any case, SAFETY is very important. Keep a phone handy and be able to use it. Have someone check on you (I know. Not easy). Don't ever get yourself in a position where blood flow or air flow is restricted.
Many people tie themselves up. It is easier than finding a willing helper that you can trust. However, when you tie yourself up, you have to make it escapable. It puts you in a different mental state than when you know there is nothing you can do to escape. You are always deciding whether you should let yourself out yet; always looking for the way out; always ready to react in a sudden panic if someone might walk in.
If you know there is no way to escape yet, you relax, feel it, adapt to your new limits. You must accept whatever happens if someone were to catch you. There is nothing you can do so you unwind and flow with it.
That inescapable go-with-the-flow position can be achieved two ways; 1) have a partner who is in charge; 2) Have a timer that will not let you out for a while.
I never trusted mechanical or electrical timers. Too much can go wrong. If you place a piece of ice in a position that it won't let you out until the ice melts, you have a relatively sure outcome, and you are never quite sure how long the time will be.
I started by having the ice hold a key to a padlock. I even had it suspended from the ceiling above me so that as the ice melted it dripped onto my bare skin. It kept reminding me that it was ticking, and provided some tactile stimulation.
Later I skipped the padlock. Using a soft flat nylon rope, I tied a simple 6 inch long loop fastened to the bed ( or any solid object). On a longer piece of rope I created a lasso on one end and tightened it over the 6 inch loop. This left a bit of the 6 inch loop still hanging out. Slide an ice cube into that loop and pull tight on the long rope. The result is the ice cube prevents the long rope from sliding off of the short loop. You can pull on that rope with all the force the rope will handle. The ice is stronger.
Use your skills to tie yourself so that you can't get loose until the ice end of the rope comes free. It might be anywhere from 1 to 4 hours.
Another simple variation is working with the bed. If I put the middle of a flat rope between the box spring and the steel frame, it leaves a little loop sticking under the frame. With some force I can pull that rope out of there, unless there is an ice cube stuck in that loop. This ice cube is pushed tight to the steel frame so it melts faster. It lets loose in about an hour.
In any case, SAFETY is very important. Keep a phone handy and be able to use it. Have someone check on you (I know. Not easy). Don't ever get yourself in a position where blood flow or air flow is restricted.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
August Rush
August Rush is a very well done movie. We watched it for the first time last week. I was surprised by how much it connected with me. It might be the only movie that brings tears to my eyes even when I am just mentally reviewing it.
Last night I watched it again. This time in a dark room with big surround sound. It affected me even more because I could see the threads of the story intertwining much earlier. During some scenes I could scarcely breathe.
This movie is not tense or sad. It is the sheer beauty, the excellence of how it is written and executed. But the tears come from deeper. The story is about a musical prodigy and cosmic connections that run through music. Most of us feel those connections. I feel them strongly when I am creating. I have always found tears in my eyes when I spontaneously whistle or play an original tune.
Ever since I have allowed myself to purposely explore the occasional drive to be tied up, my appreciation for beauty and cosmic connections has grown stronger.
Last night I watched it again. This time in a dark room with big surround sound. It affected me even more because I could see the threads of the story intertwining much earlier. During some scenes I could scarcely breathe.
This movie is not tense or sad. It is the sheer beauty, the excellence of how it is written and executed. But the tears come from deeper. The story is about a musical prodigy and cosmic connections that run through music. Most of us feel those connections. I feel them strongly when I am creating. I have always found tears in my eyes when I spontaneously whistle or play an original tune.
Ever since I have allowed myself to purposely explore the occasional drive to be tied up, my appreciation for beauty and cosmic connections has grown stronger.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Baby me
I read a story on experienceproject.com about a guy who likes wearing diapers. That particular story was about how he mentioned his feelings to a friend. To make a long story short, she and hubby tied him to a bed and put a mask over his head so he was helpless like a baby. He could suck on a tube to get liquid nourishment. They didn't let him free until after he eventually wet his diaper.
The whole story connected with me. It helped me realize how important it is to be helpless like a baby. Watch any baby. They seem to still know things at high spiritual levels. By the time they learn how to communicate to us, they no longer have the same spiritual connections.
Perhaps returning to the totally helpless condition also helps us re-establish some of the cosmic connections we had before we got sucked into this world of earthly connections.
The whole story connected with me. It helped me realize how important it is to be helpless like a baby. Watch any baby. They seem to still know things at high spiritual levels. By the time they learn how to communicate to us, they no longer have the same spiritual connections.
Perhaps returning to the totally helpless condition also helps us re-establish some of the cosmic connections we had before we got sucked into this world of earthly connections.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Why naked?
My urge to be tied usually goes along with being naked. Heck, if it were allowed, I would be happy being naked almost any place any time the temperature permits. It feels right.
Throughout the history of life, nudity and sex have virtually nothing in common. Unfortunately, in our culture, nudity is associated with sex and perversion. Lets untangle some of these intertwined threads...
What factors drive nudity while being tied?
1) A larger sense of helplessness and vulnerability. Somehow that is an important part of being tied up.
2) A sense of exposure, no part hidden, truth, a kind of intimacy.
Accepting helplessness and total exposure tends to open cosmic connections. It is also very much like being born.
3) Risk of being caught, embarrassed, nothing you can do about it. Breaking a taboo.
The current strength of sexual drive tends to drive the need for risk.
4) There is often, but not always, an element of sexual fantasy.
Strangely enough, being naked is not closely related to that.
Throughout the history of life, nudity and sex have virtually nothing in common. Unfortunately, in our culture, nudity is associated with sex and perversion. Lets untangle some of these intertwined threads...
What factors drive nudity while being tied?
1) A larger sense of helplessness and vulnerability. Somehow that is an important part of being tied up.
2) A sense of exposure, no part hidden, truth, a kind of intimacy.
Accepting helplessness and total exposure tends to open cosmic connections. It is also very much like being born.
3) Risk of being caught, embarrassed, nothing you can do about it. Breaking a taboo.
The current strength of sexual drive tends to drive the need for risk.
4) There is often, but not always, an element of sexual fantasy.
Strangely enough, being naked is not closely related to that.
Notes from my journal about structure
Nothing exists without structure and bounds.
Here are some posts about structure ( from my other blog)
Connections are relationships.
Relationships bind you.
Relationships are sets of rules.
Rules bind you.
Rules provide infrastructure, the platforms which help us operate at a higher level.
Rules create freedom at ever higher levels.
Freedom requires responsibility.
Responsibility binds you.
Bondage is not all negative.
Nothing can operate, indeed nothing can exist without bonds.
Every structure is mostly a set of connections.
What is your body? It isn’t really the atoms and molecules within it. They come and go. It is actually the structure, the relationships of those atoms and molecules.
What is a church, or school, or business, or country? It isn’t the people or the buildings, or the equipment that currently keep it operating. It is the structure, the relationships.
Everything that exists is an organization; a set of connections, rules, relationships and structures. All are (nearly) synonymous with bonds.
OK, we have established that bonds are extremely basic. What new insights might that shed light on next?
Here are some posts about structure ( from my other blog)
My focus is about bonds.
Bonds are connections.Connections are relationships.
Relationships bind you.
Relationships are sets of rules.
Rules bind you.
Rules provide infrastructure, the platforms which help us operate at a higher level.
Rules create freedom at ever higher levels.
Freedom requires responsibility.
Responsibility binds you.
Bondage is not all negative.
Nothing can operate, indeed nothing can exist without bonds.
Every structure is mostly a set of connections.
What is your body? It isn’t really the atoms and molecules within it. They come and go. It is actually the structure, the relationships of those atoms and molecules.
What is a church, or school, or business, or country? It isn’t the people or the buildings, or the equipment that currently keep it operating. It is the structure, the relationships.
Everything that exists is an organization; a set of connections, rules, relationships and structures. All are (nearly) synonymous with bonds.
OK, we have established that bonds are extremely basic. What new insights might that shed light on next?
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Winged flight
During a dreamspeak session I received this message…
“Your bonds are your feathers.
They will help you fly.”
It sounded profound at the time. The next morning I started questioning the logic of it.
“Wait a minute;” I asked. “ Bonds are structure. The structure of a wing is muscles and bones. Feathers are not structure. How do bonds relate to feathers?”
It wasn’t until I was writing a letter to my sister that it started falling into place.
Social relationships are our external bonds.
Good social relationships are our feathers that help us fly.
Feathers interface to the fluid air around us. They give us lift and thrust and the subtle control that makes flight possible.
Feathers are also our external appearance.
They can be fancy plumage just for show, or they can be mostly about function.
In any case, they must be well maintained.
Feathers don’t help much without good sound wings under them.
The relationships within ourselves form the structure under the feathers.
They need to be strong and flexible
and well maintained.
I was contemplating the fact that we really have very little control over our attitudes. The complex factors that create our attitudes run very deep. They include our culture, our heritage, our personal past, our economics, our neighborhood, our friends, and ultimately our habits. They influence even the physical structure of our brain.
I then remembered that the ONLY thing in life we really have control over is our attitude.
For a while it made me feel small.
Then I realized that we just identified a great truth.
The more I contemplate, the more I feel its power.
“Your bonds are your feathers.
They will help you fly.”
It sounded profound at the time. The next morning I started questioning the logic of it.
“Wait a minute;” I asked. “ Bonds are structure. The structure of a wing is muscles and bones. Feathers are not structure. How do bonds relate to feathers?”
It wasn’t until I was writing a letter to my sister that it started falling into place.
Social relationships are our external bonds.
Good social relationships are our feathers that help us fly.
Feathers interface to the fluid air around us. They give us lift and thrust and the subtle control that makes flight possible.
Feathers are also our external appearance.
They can be fancy plumage just for show, or they can be mostly about function.
In any case, they must be well maintained.
Feathers don’t help much without good sound wings under them.
The relationships within ourselves form the structure under the feathers.
They need to be strong and flexible
and well maintained.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Where we are
Evolution needs the edge.
Life happens on the edge.
Structure tends to suppress creativity...
With no structure, you can do nothing.
With some structure the sky is the limit.
With much structure, you can do big things;
crush the competition,
force things to be just like you.
Evolution requires competition and noise, progeny and death.
When you are evolving, you are life.
When you no longer evolve you become soil; support for active life forms.
Life happens on the edge.
Structure tends to suppress creativity...
With no structure, you can do nothing.
With some structure the sky is the limit.
With much structure, you can do big things;
crush the competition,
force things to be just like you.
Evolution requires competition and noise, progeny and death.
When you are evolving, you are life.
When you no longer evolve you become soil; support for active life forms.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
And the Truth is dangerous, for it shall set you free
The title is a phrase that popped up in my sleep about 7 years ago. It seemed profound in the context of my sleep. I always wondered what that context was.
I was reminded of that saying as I read a book online today. A theory of Power is anthropological and scholarly. It has lots of footnotes and references. It starts out explaining that nothing exists except power relationships. It goes through a little about physics, genes, memes, and culture. It ends up, in chapter 9, talking about how to structure a society that suits our genes much better by avoiding hierarchy. It looks just like the social structure that I have always dreamed of creating.
HUG is actively trying to create the foundations of this living style. The main motivations have been healthy living, economic well being, better ecology, less time stress, more resilient to social and economic storms. I never realized my reasons went this deep. This structure largely frees us from controls within our culture that don't fit our genes.
The book explained how memes now drive evolution far more than genes. Humans evolved to be vectors and hosts for memes. All the social structures around us serve the memes first, us if it’s convenient.
It helps complete a coherent picture of the universe. This truth gets at a reason for ego. It helps me see how ego traps us and why spiritual gurus seek to minimize it.
This truth can upset some people.
It is dangerous,
but it can help set you free.
I was reminded of that saying as I read a book online today. A theory of Power is anthropological and scholarly. It has lots of footnotes and references. It starts out explaining that nothing exists except power relationships. It goes through a little about physics, genes, memes, and culture. It ends up, in chapter 9, talking about how to structure a society that suits our genes much better by avoiding hierarchy. It looks just like the social structure that I have always dreamed of creating.
HUG is actively trying to create the foundations of this living style. The main motivations have been healthy living, economic well being, better ecology, less time stress, more resilient to social and economic storms. I never realized my reasons went this deep. This structure largely frees us from controls within our culture that don't fit our genes.
The book explained how memes now drive evolution far more than genes. Humans evolved to be vectors and hosts for memes. All the social structures around us serve the memes first, us if it’s convenient.
It helps complete a coherent picture of the universe. This truth gets at a reason for ego. It helps me see how ego traps us and why spiritual gurus seek to minimize it.
This truth can upset some people.
It is dangerous,
but it can help set you free.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Dichotomy
One way to recognize a great truth is when the exact opposite is also a great truth.I was contemplating the fact that we really have very little control over our attitudes. The complex factors that create our attitudes run very deep. They include our culture, our heritage, our personal past, our economics, our neighborhood, our friends, and ultimately our habits. They influence even the physical structure of our brain.
I then remembered that the ONLY thing in life we really have control over is our attitude.
For a while it made me feel small.
Then I realized that we just identified a great truth.
The more I contemplate, the more I feel its power.
Philisophical notes from my journal
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Naked truth
There is a part of the human body that is specifically designed by God and nature to hang loose in the open air. All the animals and many aboriginal humans quite naturally accommodate that design. Civilized humans don't.
We are so bound up in our hung-up culture that we can scarcely appreciate how good it feels to let our bodies respond naturally to the temperature and the wind. If everyone was comfortable with letting it all hang out, we would have a lot less fungal and yeast infections, and a lot less hang-ups.
We are so bound up in our hung-up culture that we can scarcely appreciate how good it feels to let our bodies respond naturally to the temperature and the wind. If everyone was comfortable with letting it all hang out, we would have a lot less fungal and yeast infections, and a lot less hang-ups.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
A class you may have taken before existence
No matter what kind of life you choose to become, the program can be summarized like this:
Any form of life is a set of capabilities.
You have no capabilities unless and until you have structure.
All structure is a set of limitations.
You choose a set of limitations.
You explore those limitations as you struggle within them.
This makes you an active part of the universal mind.
Cosmic endorphins will be doled out for your effort.
Shorter summary:
Struggle within your bounds.
Gain direct grace
Any form of life is a set of capabilities.
You have no capabilities unless and until you have structure.
All structure is a set of limitations.
You choose a set of limitations.
You explore those limitations as you struggle within them.
This makes you an active part of the universal mind.
Cosmic endorphins will be doled out for your effort.
Shorter summary:
Struggle within your bounds.
Gain direct grace
Journal notes about being tied up
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Another kind of sychronicity?
Again, I need to rethink my theories about the cause of that inner drive that sometimes makes me feel a need to be tied up. That feeling has been extra strong the last few days.
Earliest theories had to do with socially inhibited sex drive. Last year came a realization that this drive doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex. Recently I had been drifting back toward updates of the old theory.
Today I was surprised by 4 year old Ian when he brought me a piece of rope, put his hands behind his back and politely asked me to tie his hands. In light of the theories that had been on my mind lately, I was so surprised that I didn't really answer him. He asked me at least three times. Later I found that he asked his dad the same thing last night.
Obviously, Ian's wish to be tied up does not spring from socially imposed restrictions on his sex drive. It pokes a big hole in that line of theories. It leaves me really curious why sometimes, some of us want to be tied up. I will be looking for answers, data, research, and your input.
Earliest theories had to do with socially inhibited sex drive. Last year came a realization that this drive doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex. Recently I had been drifting back toward updates of the old theory.
Today I was surprised by 4 year old Ian when he brought me a piece of rope, put his hands behind his back and politely asked me to tie his hands. In light of the theories that had been on my mind lately, I was so surprised that I didn't really answer him. He asked me at least three times. Later I found that he asked his dad the same thing last night.
Obviously, Ian's wish to be tied up does not spring from socially imposed restrictions on his sex drive. It pokes a big hole in that line of theories. It leaves me really curious why sometimes, some of us want to be tied up. I will be looking for answers, data, research, and your input.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Ultra narrow focus
This morning I woke up with a message in my head… “It is time that you focus on some teeny narrow topic. The focus will open up new worlds of knowledge. It will show you analogies that will shed light on some of the most important aspects of the universe. DO IT! “
I have often had what I called the lesson of the week or the lesson of the month. It was a topic of fascination and philosophical conversations for a while. After it yielded many fascinating insights into god and the universe, I would be given a new topic.
One silly little physics phenomenon fascinated me for almost 20 years before the time was right to start studying it in great detail. It was Ultra Narrow Bandwidth. By focusing on this impossibly slow and narrow topic, I grew faster than ever before in my life. It resulted in fascinating insights into life, relationships, business and the nature of the universe. (It also earned a decent living for me and hundreds of others.)
There is another topic that has fascinated me for most of my life. I have not told anyone about this fascination until recently because it was not acceptable in the main stream of my culture. A month or two ago, I started realizing that perhaps it ran deeper than only this lifetime. My mind was opened to the vast amounts of psychic energies that could be wrapped up in this silence, this fear about acknowledging a basic and recurring need within me.
Since that time, I have been telling a few trusted people that all my life I have been fascinated by being tied up.
(You can now take one of two stands…
“ Is that all? After such a buildup? Man are you repressed or what?”
or “Ohh, one of those weirdos huh?”)
This is not an unusual fascination. There are many web sites devoted to the topic. What I think is special is a new realization that this is not really about sex. It involves deep energies that may transcend multiple lifetimes and even our contract with god about being in this reality.
These are strange words to come from me. I have always been the rational scientific type. My point of view is widening to include more psychic and spiritual phenomena and how they may relate to the physical life we know.
Anyway, I have been and will be focusing on the feelings and energies associated with being bound. So far it has been yielding some fascinating analogies and insights about the nature of relationships.
I have often had what I called the lesson of the week or the lesson of the month. It was a topic of fascination and philosophical conversations for a while. After it yielded many fascinating insights into god and the universe, I would be given a new topic.
One silly little physics phenomenon fascinated me for almost 20 years before the time was right to start studying it in great detail. It was Ultra Narrow Bandwidth. By focusing on this impossibly slow and narrow topic, I grew faster than ever before in my life. It resulted in fascinating insights into life, relationships, business and the nature of the universe. (It also earned a decent living for me and hundreds of others.)
There is another topic that has fascinated me for most of my life. I have not told anyone about this fascination until recently because it was not acceptable in the main stream of my culture. A month or two ago, I started realizing that perhaps it ran deeper than only this lifetime. My mind was opened to the vast amounts of psychic energies that could be wrapped up in this silence, this fear about acknowledging a basic and recurring need within me.
Since that time, I have been telling a few trusted people that all my life I have been fascinated by being tied up.
(You can now take one of two stands…
“ Is that all? After such a buildup? Man are you repressed or what?”
or “Ohh, one of those weirdos huh?”)
This is not an unusual fascination. There are many web sites devoted to the topic. What I think is special is a new realization that this is not really about sex. It involves deep energies that may transcend multiple lifetimes and even our contract with god about being in this reality.
These are strange words to come from me. I have always been the rational scientific type. My point of view is widening to include more psychic and spiritual phenomena and how they may relate to the physical life we know.
Anyway, I have been and will be focusing on the feelings and energies associated with being bound. So far it has been yielding some fascinating analogies and insights about the nature of relationships.
Friday, August 19, 2005
It turns out to be a healthy safety valve
Deep inside the mind is a psychological process that has puzzled me for decades. Some sources say that up to 40% of ordinary people are turned on by or have fantasies about being tied up. It doesn't take much time to find out that the internet has thousands of sites that pander to such things. There are also countless manufacturers making hardware to sell for that kind of play.With most people who actively have such fantasies, it only comes around occasionally when the biorhythms and planets line up just right. The rest of their lives they really have little interest in such things.
Why would someone want to let someone tie them up or tie themselves up?
The answer is emerging... DANGER!
Some people pursue danger. They may drive fast, climb cliffs, take drugs, etc. Experts say that the reason some couples get a thrill from having sex in unusual places is the slight chance of getting caught.
Recent tests have proven that when men are shown pictures of pretty women they are more likely to take risks. (Pictures of plain women have no such effect.)
These things feed my theory…
Built into our genes are forces that convince us to conform and behave for the good of society. At the same time (and for very good evolutionary reasons) we have smaller counter forces that tell us to rebel, beat the odds, try something different. Biorhythms and circumstances sometimes align to make those forces stronger. Like most bio-drives, if they are ignored, they just build up pressure.
Some people end up driving fast cars, where the danger can cause instant carnage and death. Some people chase fast women, where the danger is divorce, disease, etc. For those who play games where they tie themselves up, or let a trusted loved one tie them up, they might get caught, or they have some risk of being controlled by another during their play. The danger is psychologically real but physically inconsequential.
This, if done well, is a healthy and safe way to diffuse our internal biological drives to court danger. Just like swearing, it has to remain illicit in polite society or it serves no function.
Notes from my journal about bonds
Thursday, December 21, 2006
The need to creed
It is starting to make sense.
An anthropologist type guy pointed out to me that religion is very important to our survival. The main thing that sets us apart from other species is our ability to build large complex societies. That is what drives our success and our population boom in the last ten thousand years.
To pull a group of people together into a functioning group requires a set of common beliefs. Common beliefs are the glue that holds the social body together. A strong passionate set of beliefs will create a strong passionate group.
It is little wonder that we have genes that make us yearn for cosmic truth. We are hungry for a sense of some truth bigger than we are; a truth that will inspire others who will then adopt it with passion.
We are genetically programmed so that each time someone accepts one of our truths, we get a little reward in our brains. That creates bonds between us in the same way that the hormone oxytocin creates bonds when we share physical pleasures.
Our need to creed creates strong and vibrant social bodies.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Personal energy, same as chemistry
Deploying energy is usually about making and breaking bonds.Energy seems to be all about expectations. Energy is stored in motion or in bonds. Motion includes thermal kinetic and probably radiation. Bonds include any fields, electric, magnetic, gravitational, and chemical. Sometimes it takes energy to create a bond. Sometimes energy is released. In any case we are trading bonding and motion.
We already know that motion is possible because of inertia. Inertia is expectation. And bond is a continued expectation of advantages.
Every bond is for better and worse. It comes with advantages and costs. Making and breaking bonds usually involves substantial energy. That is why lawyers and undertakers make a lot of money. They support you just as a huge amount of energy is in flux. Doctors and realtors also benefit from changes in expectations making huge energy available.
History
Ever since puberty I have had fantasies about being tied up in all sorts of creative ways. These fantasies became intertwined with sexual fantasies. I was under the impression that it was all about sex, and it was weird, so I never told anyone about them, until a few things opened my mind and aroused my curiosity.
A couple years ago I was attending an energy session, where people took turns being the subject lying on a massage table while everyone else walked around the subject's body, feeling the energy. Then they would talk about what they experienced. When it was my turn to be the subject, one of the ladies was embarrassed to say what she saw because it didn't make sense. We assured her that this had nothing to do with logic and sense.
She saw me all tied up, possibly in an ancient Egyptian setting. I was surprised and shocked that my secret was showing through. It opened my mind that maybe this drive may be a lot deeper and more important than I imagined.
Over the next few weeks I slowly started telling some most trusted friends and family members about my drive. I came out of the closet about it. Now I am actively experimenting and trying to untangle the many intertwined threads that feed this drive.
Rather than treat it as something to hide, i am treating it as a gift, a cosmic connection, a way to learn and to feel.
A couple years ago I was attending an energy session, where people took turns being the subject lying on a massage table while everyone else walked around the subject's body, feeling the energy. Then they would talk about what they experienced. When it was my turn to be the subject, one of the ladies was embarrassed to say what she saw because it didn't make sense. We assured her that this had nothing to do with logic and sense.
She saw me all tied up, possibly in an ancient Egyptian setting. I was surprised and shocked that my secret was showing through. It opened my mind that maybe this drive may be a lot deeper and more important than I imagined.
Over the next few weeks I slowly started telling some most trusted friends and family members about my drive. I came out of the closet about it. Now I am actively experimenting and trying to untangle the many intertwined threads that feed this drive.
Rather than treat it as something to hide, i am treating it as a gift, a cosmic connection, a way to learn and to feel.
New blog
This blog is about a small part of who I am, but that part needs a voice.
I need a place to rave and marvel about my occasional inner drive to be tied up, and all the theories, philosophies, techniques and observations that go with it.
Perhaps even find other people who have similar things to share.
I need a place to rave and marvel about my occasional inner drive to be tied up, and all the theories, philosophies, techniques and observations that go with it.
Perhaps even find other people who have similar things to share.
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