Time and feelings

I have had very little interest in being tied up for about a month. Now the feelings are slowly building up again. It is a little like the waxing and waning of the moon, only on a different time scale.

I find myself falling asleep on a couch with my arms stretched out over my head. It somehow feels good. If the cycle happens like normal, stretched out body positions will get more and more pleasurable over a period of weeks or months. Fantasies will get stronger.

Near the peak, I may sometimes feel the need to be tied down so I won't float away. I may have an overwhelming need to be tied naked and totally helpless, totally at the mercy of another person. At that point it becomes a spiritual experience, a cosmic trip, a teachable moment. It may involve spiritual guidance.

I can ignore those feelings, and I often have, But now I find it much more fascinating to go with the flow. These feelings are part of who I am. They seem to be harmless and quite likely they are trying to teach me something.