Evolution of drive

My interest in being tied is changing.
Exposing it to the light of day has allowed it to live and to soften.

I still have never done any hard core BDSM. In fact I am not even interested in the websites about that any more. Once on a rare while I still wish to be tied up and tickled or gently abused by a relative stranger, but much less than before.

Last fall I had a tie-up session with an energy worker. It reached new levels as far as me being exposed and vulnerable. It served some sort of energetic and spiritual purpose, but it left me underwhelmed and unable to write about it. Something was missing. Something was not complete.

Now I can sort it out.
There was no real danger, no imagined danger, no chance of physical horseplay, and to some extent the energy worker's spirit was not fully engaged.

I think that being physically exposed was not much of a risk anymore because that taboo had already been broken. Neither of us were going to do any horseplay or anything else that would risk our normal relationships. So there we were; tying me with no chance of taking the next step, the reason I would be tied; something I couldn't say no to, or defend myself from.
Tickling, torture, sexual horseplay, mind games, sensual deprivation or enhancement games, who knows what. That is the missing risk.

Yet I am not as interested as I was before in BDSM websites or risky behavior with strangers. Somewhere, sometime there is a person or couple that I can trust who will be fascinated with exploring this and can teach me a thing or two.

It will be interesting to see what turns this takes next.