During the last few months, the urge to be tied has been rare enough that I was actually starting to miss it. In a way, I was getting worried that maybe my sex drive was melting away, and what might that imply about my health? Last night was more like it.
Yesterday we had some very good sex. I used to strongly relate a need for sex with the urge to be tied. After sex, the urge fades, but this time there was no such urge to begin with. Only a few hours after sex, my mind was cloudy (due to news events) and I ended up with a feeling that to clear my head I should be chained stretched out on the bed. Interestingly, during sex there was relatively little underarm odor, but when I chained up, the familiar strong musk was back.
Around midnight I ran a chain under the mattress from head to foot of the bed. Then padlocked the chain to leather cuffs around my ankles. I finished by padlocking cuffs on my wrists to the chain at the head of the bed. The keys were left in their bag on the floor, well out of my reach.
I stayed chained until 8:00 am when I finally asked my wife to unlock me. She had slept next to me all night knowing that I was chained, but not realizing that she was my only means of escape.
It worked! My mind was much clearer. I had a good, well focused day.
It feels to me that when I am stretched out and can't easily get free, I am forced to stay stretched through minor discomforts. There is something about staying stretched and vulnerable for longer than is comfortable that is spiritual and cathartic.
A few new observations about what ingredients come together to create the urge to be chained up.
Enough sleep; often a nap.
Time that may be relatively uninterrupted.
Caffeine; Dark chocolate or green tea.
Spiritual input or guidance; Something magical and as yet undefined.
Sex: More specifically the need for it.
Not all of the above need to coincide, but each contributes.
Less interested in scarves or ropes that bind. More interested in cuffs that do not constrict any kind of fluid flow within hands and feet. This coincides with a preference for longer sessions, but less often.
Monday, April 19, 2010
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