Massage and erections

I have been getting massages every week for over 10 years now. That is about 500 massages. For the first 200 or so I was constantly on guard to make sure I didn't get an erection. A few times I got one anyway and I was mortified. Perhaps more accurately, I was somewhat embarrassed and worried what the massage therapist might think.

Lately, I have mostly stopped worrying about it. If it happens, so what?!
Some therapists don't like it. Some don't mind. All of them never mention it. My body does what it is programmed to do. That is how we are built.

List of conditions is getting longer

 Manifesting is tricky. You usually get what you ask for but it is often not what you thought it would be. To manifest a good experience, it helps to more carefully define what you want.

I want to have some fun and meaningful experiences being tied up by other people. To keep it fun and uplifting requires a number of conditions, some physical and some relational. As I get older, the list of ideal physical conditions gets longer and more detailed. Relational conditions get better defined, but really apply at any age.

All these conditions means that the captor has a lot of health and safety responsibility, but that is how we keep it fun and uplifting.

Relational:

I should know that my captor will not do any real harm and has my best interests at heart.
Captor should not be an employee or any other relationship that involves one of us having financial or social power over the other.
Captor wants to do this, is playfully creative and somewhat unpredictable.
All parties understand safety and how and when to back off or quit.

Physical:

The ideal timing is when I am healthy and physically feeling well.
Time frame: Measured in hours, not minutes or days.
Temperature:  75 degrees or higher works best for long term exposure.
Food: Empty stomach is best
Bladder: Mostly empty. Well hydrated body but not saturated.
Colon: Not totally full or freshly empty. (freshly empty can pre-dispose me to cramps)

Binding:
 For short time frames measured in minutes, any position or binding method will work. For longer term, muscles, tendons joints, circulation and temperature all need to be considered.

Circulation:   Cuffs, chains and straps do a great job without having to be tight. Ropes and scarves eventually reduce circulation. For long periods, horizontal works best. Any body part that is highly above or below the heart tends to get poor circulation.

Captor can do all the binding, or I can partake in the binding to help assure comfort and safety.

Third pary

Some day, before I am too old to enjoy it, my wife is going to muster up the courage to get another person involved in tying me up. I love her too much to feel right about letting someone get too personal with me without her blessing.

This makes me consider why. What am I looking for?

Being tied up and under someone else's total control is a release of responsibility. It involves the risk of being exposed, physically, mentally and spiritually. As long as I believe my captor will not harm me and has my best interests at heart, it can be a very good thing.  It creates a new kind of freedom and brings a spiritual recharge.

I want my captor to tease me, to strip my defenses, to break silly taboos, to make me do or feel things that I would not do otherwise. This can be mental or physical.

There is a certain intimacy in not being able to hide the truth. While captive, I am in total truth mode. Penetrating questions must be answered honestly. The captor doesn't have to accept any less. That extends to the physical. Men usually hide embarrassing erections. When captive, there is no controlling when they happen, and no way to hide.

Good one!

My urge to be tied has its ups and downs. This summer it may have been in a valley. Too busy. Not too much drive.

Last weekend my wife spent 2 days at home attending a teleconference. That means she got enough sleep for a change, and a little down time. It also means that I was getting bored near the end. So I decided it was a good time to tie myself up.

Without saying a word to her, I went into the basement bedroom, got naked, and rigged up some straps that bound my arms and legs stretched out toward the four corners of the king size bed. I quietly struggled to get free for over an hour as I counted down the time until the teleconference was over. That is when she was likely to get curious and come looking for me.

As the time drew nearer, I was marveling at my own reactions. My heart raced. Adrenalin pumped. I didn't know if she would be angry, or amused, or indifferent.

Just 15 minutes left. The time is coming closer. I am beginning to get uncomfortable. Suddenly I find a way to escape. I loosen my bonds, relax, and feel like maybe I have had my fix. Then contemplate going back upstairs as if nothing happened.

Something inside me is disappointed. Without thought, the feeling pushes me to quickly fix the flaw in the straps and get trapped. Now I am tighter, more motionless, totally inescapable. Disappointment is gone, adrenaline is back.

After ten minutes of being totally, inescapably trapped and exposed, I hear her coming down the stairs. Nothing I can do. Can't back out of this one. Will she be mad?

She discovers me. Looks me over and figures out that I really can't move or defend myself. Then she throws soccer balls at me. My catch reflex is useless. I have to just let them bounce off of whatever part of me they hit. Then she goes back upstairs. I marvel at my inner self because the prospect that she will likely ignore me and leave me helpless for a few hours gives me the biggest erection I have had all day.

A few minutes later she returns and announces that she is horny. She proceeds to take full advantage of my helplessness while making passionate love to me in several ways. She is insatiable and smokes out my overloaded nerves in more ways than I can stand. Then she cuddles up to sleep next to my still stretched out body.

THIS is what my life long fantasy was all about.
How do we top this (and when)?
Whew!

Lots of info out there.

I was just doing some internet searches about "why do some people like to be tied up?" and I ran across a blog that is remarkably similar to this one.
It is short, but it adds a new dimension to the discussion.

Observations

During the last few months, the urge to be tied has been rare enough that I was actually starting to miss it. In a way, I was getting worried that maybe my sex drive was melting away, and what might that imply about my health? Last night was more like it.

Yesterday we had some very good sex. I used to strongly relate a need for sex with the urge to be tied. After sex, the urge fades, but this time there was no such urge to begin with. Only a few hours after sex, my mind was cloudy (due to news events) and I ended up with a feeling that to clear my head I should be chained stretched out on the bed. Interestingly, during sex there was relatively little underarm odor, but when I chained up, the familiar strong musk was back.

Around midnight I ran a chain under the mattress from head to foot of the bed. Then padlocked the chain to leather cuffs around my ankles. I finished by padlocking cuffs on my wrists to the chain at the head of the bed. The keys were left in their bag on the floor, well out of my reach.

I stayed chained until 8:00 am when I finally asked my wife to unlock me. She had slept next to me all night knowing that I was chained, but not realizing that she was my only means of escape.

It worked! My mind was much clearer. I had a good, well focused day.
It feels to me that when I am stretched out and can't easily get free, I am forced to stay stretched through minor discomforts. There is something about staying stretched and vulnerable for longer than is comfortable that is spiritual and cathartic.

A few new observations about what ingredients come together to create the urge to be chained up.
Enough sleep; often a nap.
Time that may be relatively uninterrupted.
Caffeine; Dark chocolate or green tea.
Spiritual input or guidance; Something magical and as yet undefined.
Sex: More specifically the need for it.
Not all of the above need to coincide, but each contributes.


Less interested in scarves or ropes that bind. More interested in cuffs that do not constrict any kind of fluid flow within hands and feet. This coincides with a preference for longer sessions, but less often.

Story in Experience Project

I have fantasized about being tied up ever since puberty. Always a fantasy about women completely immobilizing me and having fun with my naked body. Most of the time the urge stayed on the back burner and only simmered. Every three months or so the fantasy would become overpowering and boil over for about 3 days, to a point that I could hardly focus on my work. (It must be a biorythm thing). During that time I would tie myself up by any means I could devise, and at any opportunity.

When I got married I soon found out that my wife had no similar fantasies. I figured I must be weird and never told her about mine. I never told anyone. Thank God for the internet. It helps us connect and discuss things that can't be discussed in "polite" company. Now we can get a sense of how common the feelings really are.

After 25 years of marriage, I finally admitted to my wife that I had fantasies about being tied up while a woman has her way with me. She was a little cool about the idea but played along with VERY light bondage. Over the next few years she experimented just a few times with just a little light bondage; still a little cool but enjoying it more over time.

Eventually I decided that my urge to be tied is very much a part of me and as such it should be celebrated and explored. I came out of the closet and talked about it openly with family and close friends. I also talked about finding people who wanted to explore this urge to be tied up and the cosmic feelings it releases. At that point my wife became more interested in helping me explore.

It didn't take long to figure out that, even though it was intertwined with sexual fantasies, being tied up was not about sex. It was much more cosmic and spiritual.

We also learned that being lightly tied was not going to satisfy. I had to be totally helpless and at her mercy for it to have the full effect.

She wore out on the topic much faster than I did, so it didn't intensify like I might have liked. For a while she was quite cool on the subject. Meanwhile I no longer hide my need to be tied. Our bed has a couple of home made nylon strap cuffs permanently installed near the headboard. When I am fit to be tied, I often slip my hands into them and stretch out on the bed. It is difficult but possible for me to escape only by using my toes to pry the cuffs open. If my need is really strong, I tie my feet. Then I am trapped until she comes in and lets me out.

Sometimes she is a little miffed that I am doing this. Sometimes she is a little turned on. Sometimes she lets me stew in my own juices for hours while she entertains herself in the next room all evening. It fascinates me that all three of these are good outcomes. The risk that she might be mad at me while I am naked and at her mercy is a big turn on. If she is turned on it can become great sex. If she just lets me stew for hours, I get even more time enjoying the cosmic feeling of being physically helpless and not in control.